Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
