i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
