just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
