I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
