I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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