i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I have tasted many bathrooms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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