Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
