But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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