I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Randomize
