I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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