Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Randomize
