and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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