Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
be right there i have to get my cape
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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