He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
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