You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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