Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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