I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
