my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
