after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
