I wannas sexs uuuuu
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize