I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
