the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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