im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I bet he comes in French.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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