allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
