No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
vagina is talking i cant
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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