i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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