Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
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I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
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It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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