"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
