What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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