i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
How many fucks given?
0.12846
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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