How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize
