Your dad touched me again.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
