operation have a gay friend backfired
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
