i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
When did angry sex become our thing?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
