I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
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