idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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