I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
