we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
