how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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