Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
