Your tits are I can't wait for
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
