he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
