This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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