Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Randomize