The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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