The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
