Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
