id be glad to
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
