so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
