I'm sorry my penis didn't work
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
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