fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
