Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Randomize
