may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
