It's Friday. Sex?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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