watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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