it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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