Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.