how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine