wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you