I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies