I want to make a zoo with you.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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