oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Randomize
