Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.