almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize