bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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